Finding a Good Natural Hair Stylist Is like Dating

Finding a Good Natural Hair Stylist Is like Dating

Let’s talk about dating. Those of us who have been in the dating pool know that it’s just as exciting as it can be exhausting. This new person that you’re giving a chance has the potential to be a good thing in your life. Or…They could be ready to drag you on an emotional rollercoaster. Then you have to repeat the process over again. Your first date is meant to detect any chemistry between the two of you. But if there isn’t, you need to get the hell out of dodge. Listen to your intuition and don’t agree to another date out of politeness. If it’s there and you’re interested in pursuing something, go for it! Dating romantically and finding a new natural hair stylist are more similar than you think.

Not sure how? Let me explain…

When you move forward you enter the dating phase. You’re checking to see if there’s compatibility or if your long-term goals align with one another. Do you have different religious beliefs? If so, can you two be respectful and understanding of one another? Do you want kids or a marriage in the future? What’s your ideal timeline looking like? The more you get to know the person you’re dating, the more you’ll either like or dislike them. You might want more in the relationship because they’re wonderful but the two of you aren’t on the same page. Or you were both on the same page but some of the chapters in their past life are titled, “Toxic,” “Cheater,” or “Double Life.” You think the relationship is going well until BOOM! It’s a catastrophe. 

Now you’re back in the dating pool and the vicious cycle starts again. This time you’re dragging the trauma (and potential insecurities) from the previous attempt with you. You’re likely hesitant to go through the same foolery again, so you’re more reserved each cycle. You don’t want to give to be vulnerable just to get hurt again.

It’s exhausting. Dating SUCKS.

But it’s in the pursuit of finding someone that makes you feel happy and safe. It’s an annoying process that eventually pays off, but it can take a while. Finding a GREAT natural hair stylist is just as challenging. You can compare the two in terms of quality. Professionalism, respect, service, kindness, and so on. It’s been a couple of years since I started offering Protective Style Services in the salon. It’s been over 10 years since I left the Beauty Service Industry the first time around.  Not much has changed since then. I offer online home hair care training, but people still need to see a professional for trims and other treatments. They have to take a risk with someone new. They give someone a shot and it’s a disaster.

There are too many natural hair stylists operating at a mediocre level that leaves us naturals scarred. We’re worried that our next stylist will do us dirty.

Unfortunately, there are many times when our worries aren’t wrong. 

Bad attitude. Lack of respect for our time. Manipulative. Inconsistent. These personal experiences are related to many of the women reading right now. If we had a support group for our stylist horror stories, we would find that so many of us have suffered horrendously at the hands of stylists. The stories that my clients tell me are mindblowing and heartbreaking.

One client told me about the stylist who dropped her keys out the window and told her NEW client to let herself inside. She didn’t even tell her which key was the right one. Another client told me about a stylist who didn’t have any heat in the heart of winter. She proceeded to use a space heater on herself and never shared with her client. A client also told me about a newbie stylist who poured hot water ON her head instead of dipping her braid’s ends in hot water to seal them. 

Not everyone is a professional.

Not everybody should be providing professional services. Not everyone is worth you being their client.

Consultations are SO Important. Book a consultation if you don’t know a stylist or have reservations about working with them. You can ask important questions and see how they operate. You don’t want to partner with a stylist that has little respect for you, your hair, and your scalp. Your standard should be a natural hair stylist that cares about your scalp and hair health while helping you in your natural hair journey. Unfortunately, there are people who take on the role of the stylist but don’t care about their clients. Stylists who aren’t transparent, considerate, and kind to the people paying them are a huge red flag. Salon tears and discomfort during hair appointments should no longer be accepted.

I designed the Brown Skin Women Salon by combining my professional, strategic experience with the quality of service I offer.

The one thing Corporate America taught me about was scaling, streamlining, and maintaining a business. The bottom line of our businesses needs money. Our clients are the ones who give it to us. We provide a service that clients feel is worth the money. Second, to our offerings, our clients are essential to us. So, stylists if you’re reading this, you should be designing every single aspect of your professional offerings from your client’s perspective.

How do you want them to feel during your service? How can you elevate them and make their appointment more enjoyable? How can you make them feel wanted? If your clients and prospects feel good after seeing you and are happy with your service, they’ll refer others. If they have a terrible or uncomfortable time, they’re going to warn others about you.

As natural hair stylists, it’s important we emphasize our client’s happiness. 

Those of you who are seeking a service need to do your due diligence when choosing a natural hair stylist. Ask the right questions and know what your expectations are. You’re partnering with a stylist, which is an ongoing relationship that should be mutual respect and benefits. Like in romantic dating, red flags should NOT be ignored. Turn the other way and RUN. 

Treat dating for your special someone and finding a stylist the same way, if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

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