Parenting with Curls: Happy Mother’s Day

Parenting with Curls: Happy Mother’s Day

If your children have curly hair, it may feel like there's additional pressure on you. It's no secret that curly hair is only recently becoming more socially accepted, and the curls that are praised are loose and silky. Children who have tighter, coarser curls are often subjected to teasing and negative comments. Not just from their peers, but from teachers, family members, and other even strangers. It's so easy for them to take those statements and internalize them. If you have curly hair yourself, you know exactly what we're talking about. You might be on your own journey of self-love and acceptance when it comes to your hair. Your parents may have spoken poorly about your hair or complained that it was too difficult to deal with. That it was better relaxed or tucked away in braids and weaves because it was more presentable or easier to manage. You probably internalized those statements, too. There's a good chance you're still unpacking and unlearning those ideas as an adult.


And we aren't forgetting about our non-curly-headed mothers. First, we commend you for being here and taking steps to understand hair that is totally foreign to your own. You have to step outside of your comfort zone, listen to new perspectives, address personal biases you may have, and start practicing a new regimen that you can't test on yourself first. Having curly-headed children when your hair isn't curly yourself comes with its own special set of challenges.


So, how do you navigate taking care of your children's hair, whether your hair is similar to theirs or not? Rest assured. We're here to help!


Become Educated on Tight Curls


Take the time to learn and understand how tight curls behave. How they take to water. Which products yield ideal results? Understand the importance of frequent cleanses and regular trims are for curls. Being educated about tight curls also has its practicality. Cleansing, detangling, and conditioning will be easier once you completely understand the process. And the more you understand, the gentler and more incredible the styles you do will become. The scariest part of curls is their unpredictable, inconsistent nature. All you have to do is demystify said nature with science and hands-on practice. Taking our Clean and Simple Detox course will set you and your little up for greatness.


Hair Time = Quality Time


Make your children's hair regimen special. The foundation of wash day is respect, sensitivity, and communication. Establish an open line of dialogue with your little ones as you do their hair. Ask the following questions:

  1. Does this hurt?

  2. Is the water too hot? Is it too cold?

  3. Are you ready for the next step?

  4. Does this hurt? (This question should be asked often. Give your child the chance to reasess their comfort throughout the process.)


It's important that you respond positively to their responses. If you're hurting them, apologize and adjust your technique. This makes sure your child feels heard, safe, and secure while you do their hair. It also instills that their voice and experiences matter. You want to build their self-confidence and sense of bodily autonomy as early as possible.


Build your children's sense of bodily autonomy. Having bodily autonomy means being able to make choices about your life, body, and future without threat or fear of violence. Asking questions and making adjustments are crucial ways to reinforce that your child is in control of their body. Yes, this will require active effort on your part. But it means the world to your children and their developing minds.


@Jasmine Merritt one word that keeps coming up un my comments is body autonomy. Can you adjust/add to reflect this?

@Carmen Could you review the bold? It includes a bit about bodily autonomy and what it means



Create a Comfortable Environment


Do what you can to make your little ones comfortable while you do their hair. This could mean watching certain shows, listening to music, or talking about school or their interests. Make an effort to let your child participate in choosing what you do and how you do it. You'll both likely start looking forward to your shared time together as you begin to maintain a routine. Make wash day and hair maintenance something you both cherish.


Indulge in Their Creativity


As a parent, it can be difficult to balance your own style with your child's blossoming sense of fashion. While it's natural to want to guide and influence their choices, it's important to remember that they are their own person with their own tastes and preferences.


Your child may be drawn to a trending style or have come up with a unique aesthetic that they want to try out. It's important to be open to their ideas and wishes, even if it's not something that you would personally choose for yourself. Let them choose their own accessories. By allowing them to explore and express themselves through their clothing and accessories, you are helping to nurture their creativity and confidence. Be open to trying new and different things when you're doing their hair. Trust us, it makes all the difference!


Practice Patience


Maybe the hardest thing for us to do at times. Try to have patience when you're doing your child's hair. That includes when they critique your work or have a complaint. Children can and should be honest. Even when it's a little hurtful on our end. The next time you hear, "I don't like it." After asking about your hard work, take a deep breath. Then ask why and what they would prefer.


Kids are ever-evolving their style and experimenting with their appearance builds confidence and agency. You can foster that agency with patience and respect for your child's curls. Don't admonish them for speaking up or they'll learn to keep quiet, even when they hate something. Children become adults. You're preparing them for the future. That way, when they don't like how their hair turns out in the salon they'll have the confidence to talk to their stylist. They won't wait until they get in the car to cry or desperately try to fix it. (We've all been there.)


Make Hair Fun


Do something a little fun and on theme on certain days. Mother's Day is a great example. You can find cute accessories that match or complement one another. You can also wear matching or similar styles on certain days. Matching and coordinating is an easy way to make certain days special. Plus, you'll have sweet pictures to look back on as the years go on. Check out the Kid's Corner in our online community. There, you'll find tutorials for hairstyles to try on your children. You'll also have the opportunity to learn how to apply and remove common hair accessories.


In the spirit of Mother's Day, Carmen is showing off an easy matching hairstyle with her daughter. She chose this style because it's easily replicated, no matter your or your little one's hair texture. When choosing matching styles, keep in mind that modifications and alterations can always be made.


To All Our Mothers and Primary Caretakers Out There...


You're seen. We see you. We understand the sacrifices and hard decisions you make. The struggles that you go through. The immense, incredible joy you feel when you see your children happy. The pain that you feel when you see them hurt. We see you. Motherhood is a lot of things, but we can all agree that it isn't always easy. Mother's Day will be here soon and we wanted to send a loving, special shoutout to everyone who is trying their best to give their children the lives they deserve. If you haven't heard it recently, you can hear it now... We're proud of you and your accomplishments! Big and small.

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