Natural Hair Mindset: What I Wish I had Known

Natural Hair Mindset: What I Wish I had Known

Mindset is everything.

According to Miriam Webster Dictionary, a mindset is “a fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations.” I’m starting here because it is so, so, so important to check your natural hair mindset.

The beliefs one commonly has about themself is often based on influences beyond their control. Think about what you see on tv, what you hear from relatives and friends starting at a young age, and what you read across the very vast and extreme world of strangers on the internet (more on this later). How many of your hair insecurities stemmed from others’ opinions? Who we are today significantly determines what we believe to be true, and the only way to change that is to change your beliefs and mindset.

The goal is to help you shift your mindset and understand clean, simple hair and scalp care should be based on science. Once adopted and adapted, it will significantly shift the misinformed narratives floating around the internet. But to do that, you have to honestly consider your mentality when it comes to hair. If natural hair isn’t for you (I’ve heard this many times before), consider why you feel this way. Do you think natural hair is unprofessional? Is it a length obsession and shrinkage is a personal enemy? Are you partial to wearing straight hair?

This brings me to my next point.

Relaxed Hair vs Natural Hair.

If you’ve ever had a relaxer, as I did for ten years, you may have gone about two weeks (or more) in between cleansing with shampoo and conditioner. You avoided water (rain, swimming, and sweat) at all costs. Hot oil treatments, hair grease, and the use of oil, in general, were commonly used to help keep relaxed hair lubricated.

Enter natural hair.

Natural hair needs hydration more than anything else. The longer the hair goes without being hydrated, the more it suffers. As mentioned, oil lubricates the hair. What the hair truly needs is moisture, which can not happen without the presence of water.

What did I wish the natural Curlfriend community knew before going natural?

Water is our natural hair’s best friend. Oil only prevents the hair from accepting water because water and oil do not mix.

What should the natural community understand about relaxed hair vs. natural hair?

Freedom is associated with embracing our hair in its natural state. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to relax your hair if that’s your preference but make sure you do so with knowledge and understanding.

So back to the natural hair freedom I mentioned…

Rain? Bring it! Swimming? Bring that too! If for nothing else, being relaxed stopped me from living my best life. I’ll never forget the time I planned to go out with my girls. I turned the bath on to adjust the temperature before turning on the shower. However, I didn’t realize the shower setting was still on, so down came the unexpected waterfall. It made my already puffy, in-need-of-a-relaxer roots even puffier. I canceled my plans.

How about having a fresh wrap but getting caught in the rain? Absolutely devastating.

Now that I’ve changed my natural hair mindset, I don’t get stressed if my hair gets a little wet.

Crowdsourcing is a setup and trap.

Raise your hair if you’ve followed a hairstyle tutorial step-by-step, only for your results to be subpar at best. I’m sure if you read the comments below the tutorial, you’d see a forum of support amongst individuals who were sharing their struggles and trying to figure it out. The blind leading the blind, as my mom says.

The honest truth is that online crowdsourcing is a dangerous and difficult space to navigate. It usually perpetuates the problem it’s supposed to fix. You’re struggling, so you google a solution, only to find results from somebody else who tells you that you need to do something completely unnecessary. This could have been avoided if you had partnered with a professional who would diagnose what’s wrong instead of making you go back and forth with different trials and errors. A simple solution may be cleansing your scalp regularly, for instance, if you suffered from dryness.

Last I checked, I’m one of a few trained and skilled professionals who create consistent, intentional, and helpful content (not just show and tell) surrounding tightly textured natural hair.

In order to get off of the hamster wheel, you have to trust someone enough to partner with them and see results.

Hello, have we met? I’m here to help you simplify your relationship with your natural hair. Whether it’s through how I give my time for free (this blog and its weekly newsletter BSW Report for instance) or through a premium salon or digital training center service.

It could all be so simple…

Clean and Simple hair is not a technique; it’s a way of handling, managing, and taking care of your hair at home.

I encourage my clients and students to follow a specific regimen so they can maintain the integrity and health of their hair and scalp. It will also simplify and improve their relationship with their natural hair. You should know that I do the exact same things that I teach. My hair is a testament to the clean and simple lifestyle.

This is me working through my styling product for my wash-n-go. My routine takes me literally 90 minutes to cleanse, condition, set, and dry.


I want this for you too, my friends!


It could all be so simple, but your natural hair mindset needs to change first.

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