How many of us have had a hair crush? You see someone’s hair and can’t believe how wonderful it looks, you start to get envious. You wonder why you can’t get your hair to look like that, even though you’ve tried. Your hair crush might be an influencer, a friend, or even a random picture you saw on social media. Regardless of who they are, their hair’s appearance becomes your hair goals.
You’ve probably taken their advice if you know the person or they’re an influencer. You went to the store, bought the products, and followed their instructions step-by-step. The styling process is a mix of excitement, stress, anxiety, and frustration, but you hope it’s worth it in the end. You may be finding the way you do your hair forever! A little struggle is worth it, right?
Except your style doesn’t look anything like your hair goals. It’s entirely different even though you followed every instruction. The feeling you get when you see your failed hairstyle can be devastating. You get more frustrated with your hair because it doesn’t behave. The resentment many of us have learned through generational hair trauma continues to fester.
You’re left thinking, “Why can’t I get it right?”
Let’s Talk About Hair Goals.
To get to the point, you shouldn’t have them.
Hair influencers are usually the reference point for hair goals. This is because they build a platform off of sharing their hair experience with viewers. The videos are typically light-hearted and seem to be full of helpful information. We develop parasocial relationships with our favorite influencers and feel like our good friend is advising us.
In reality, their routine might not work for you. The products they use may do more damage than good. The technique might rip out your hair. Their tips could end with split ends. This isn’t to say hair influencers innately have bad intentions. The issue is that they’re likely approaching natural hair without a science-based approach.
Other Reasons to Avoid Hair Goals
Unrealistic expectations. Hair goals create expectations that cannot simply be achieved through using specific products. Products don’t create healthy hair; your habits do.
Disheartening results. They push us further from a healthy mindset. You’re more likely to get frustrated with your hair if you’re trying to make look exactly like someone else’s. You may get focused on what your hair CAN’T do instead of what it CAN do.
Negative Thoughts. Wishing your hair was more like your hair crush is damaging to yourself. Your self-confidence and self-perception will suffer. What you say and think about yourself, even when joking, has more of an impact than you think.
Who’s Hair Goals?
You are! Once you learn how to love and appreciate your coils and curls, this will come naturally. You’d be surprised how much you’ll love your textured hair in its natural state. Your improved natural hair mindset will foster a healthy relationship with your hair. With this mindset comes learning the versatility of your hair, enjoying hair maintenance, and finding beauty in your hair every single day.