My 32: a sweeter softer side of life

Last month I turned 32. I’m not quite sure how I feel about the aging thing, but one thing I do accept is the fact that it’s just a number. Focusing on the grand scheme of things aging itself means becoming wiser and seasoned. That feels like a better fit. 


What I am certain of though is how I feel. This is the first time in my adult life that I honestly feel my healthiest and happiest. It’s the first time I genuinely feel happily in love with myself, flaws and all.  I think in part it’s the thrill of it all being temporary.  I embrace change.  It’s evolutionary. I have learned to accept people as they are, and that I have the choice to decide if them at their absolute worse (not best), is worth my energy and presence. I say no, thank you when I don’t want something or disagree. Rejecting whatever doesn’t or no longer reasonates. Staying in my lane has proven to have a progressive track record.  Yes, please!

I have travel and adventure to thank for helping open me up.  It’s the love that I witness, give and am given while adventuring. You see things, you wander, you discover what you didn’t know existed, you appreciate more of what life, culture, and art in various forms have to offer. 


My work life plays a huge role in this. As an event planner I have the freedom and flexibility to work from any place I choose (as long as I have my laptop and wifi).  At home, local coffee shops, across the country, you name it. And it is the sweetest thing. 


Courtesy of work-cations, I am blessed with the opportunity to do my work in some of the most warm and inviting places.  I am embracing more of stepping outside of my comfort zone.  In both my personal and professional spaces (which I also recently realized in turns of internal impact, are one in the same).  I recently had to send an “on second thought, that arrangement does not work for me…” email because on second thought I realized it simply did not work.  And I was completely OK with the opposite party coming back and rejecting the new offer and opportunity all together. You know why? Because I stoood up for myself. The energy from our personal lives naturally leaks into our professional life, and vice versa. Why would I ever allow one to negatively impact the other?  I didn’t commit solely to something knowing deep down it didn’t fit or feel right.  I find peace in freedom in listening to my intuition.  It’s OK to change your mind. 


I have my yoga and meditation practice to thank for this.  Operating from a place of intimate intention happens when you feed your internal being self love juice over and over again. I’m all over and into it. No matter where I am and what my commitments are, I practice giving myself my daily self love juice.  This space helped me through when I was at my worse, imagine the power it holds when I am at my absolutely best. And any space in between. Absolutely. Certainly. Yes, please! 


My recent travels/work-cation in Molbridge, Maine were amazingly peaceful and serene. Milbridge is beautiful. 


It’s where I got my first taste of authentic, good tasting seafood. Experienced story telling, bonding and meals around daily bonfires, which taught me a healthy lesson in teamwork and togetherness. 


My first experience canoeing, and showering/handling my personal business in the outdoor outhouse.  Cabin living.  Witnessing my obsession with modern shed living come to life. Surrounded by trees, water, light air quality, and a real life Seal (my love’s family named him Oscar). This place is a part of my new reality.  I would consider living there only winter is my least favorite season.  And they last longer in Maine. Not to mention the snow.  I think I’d be miserable. Yet having the option to visit this beautiful place anytime I please is the perfect amount of enough. 


I often struggled as a kid, saddened by the fact that my family never had the money and resources to visit places (nice or otherwise). I wondered how would that exposure have shaped my journey and the woman I am today.  It makes me a little sad, because growing up was so hard, but today, my life isn’t the same. I am healthy, inside and out. I am working a job I love, creating councious communities through my blog, in deep mental, spiritual and emotional love with my love, inspired by my little lady Sania’s strength, accepting of my own beauty, skill, creativity and strength, and grateful for my heart that is genuine and full of love. 


I know my worth. I embrace my value. I love even when it’s hard and hurt. There is a sweeter softer side of life when we live wholeheartedly and unapologetically.  This is my version of 32. 

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Elaena
    August 19, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Carmen, I have been a fan of yours since you started this blog and it has been so beautiful to witness your growth. Thank you for being to real and transparent. It inspires me and possibly more than you know. Keep being the magical you.

  • Reply
    Confidence Begins With Curiosity And Courage – Brown Skin Women
    August 20, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    […] My 32: A Sweeter Softer Side Of Life, I wondered how exposure could have shaped my journey and the woman I am today, had my upbringing […]

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